Made the grammatically questionable proclamation that "Man's best friend is a beer" and then followed it up by cackling directly in someone's face?

Stumbled around your friend's beach house, demanded "Who the hell are you?" when that friend came into the room, fallen down an entire flight of steps, and then finished off the night by announcing that you were going to bed, and if anyone had a problem with that, they could take it up with you?

Defined studying as drinking a few beers, setting out a bunch of post-it notes on your desk, and playing guitar while watching taped episodes of Seinfeld?

While at your going-away-to-boot-camp party, demanded that a seperate picture be taken of you and every single person at that party, and then pretty much got your wish?

Thrown a flower pot at the wall because the Orioles lost one of their 162 regular-season games and then left the smashed pot in the stairwell for weeks on end?

Went to Preakness and thought you had really hit on something by coming up with the term "Freakness", which you later learned was the name of an annual post-Preakness event?

Thrown a metal pot at your friend's head because you weren't able to find a wadded-up piece of paper?

Made the dubious assertion that fireworks aren't as dangerous as one might think?

Sat on your coffee table at one of your parties and then proceeded to lecture a captive audience of 20-odd party-goers on the rich subject of the Perpetration of the Come-Across for at least half an hour?

Terrorized someone twice your size by chasing them around the house, whipping them with a blanket?

While being terrorized by someone chasing you with a blanket, yelled "Save yourself!" and pushed your friend down a flight of stairs?

Clapped your hands relentlessly and emitted a loud "NOOOOOO!" every five minutes each time you watched a televised sporting event?

Worked all day, went to a bachelor party, then left at 3 AM to drive to Ocean City, when upon arrival, you headed out to a bar on the Boardwalk, where you spent the day drinking 25 beers?

On your way to Fells Point, realized that you missed your Beltway exit a half mile back, and then decided that reversing it on the shoulder back to that exit was your best option?

Attended a Lollapalooza concert, then casually opened up an issue of Guitar World a few months later to find your face front and center (out of thousands of people at the show), proudly wearing the Guitar World Smile?

Gotten your wisdom teeth taken out then inexplicably had the alias "Mr. Goo" created for you because your face swelled up?

Stopped off to get food when you were about to miss your plane because "there's always time for eats"?